Wednesday, September 3, 2008

and DOWN comes da hamma!

after getting past the initial system brainfart (which i thought was the forces of evil trying to prevent this post) and not having to use this random code to report the incicent, bX-ysin66, i'm able to slap my 3 euro cents down onto digital canvas. here goze...

(this was a response i wrote a few minutes ago to an email i got from a philosopher i know telling me that the republickens have somehow managed to put together a more "entertaining" ticket than the dems this year, and since being entertaining goes a long, long way in the nation that brought you trucknutz, this situation could prove disastrous for those of us hoping that the world will change its destructive course so we can return to simply being self-minded, ordinary-yet-proud world citizens like we always used to be)

Damn, that's a bucket of ice-cold water down my back! I don't get that perspective out here, nor have I had time to read up on these developments. Just saw the photo of Palin with the poor red-nosed reindeer...maybe the Dems can frame her as the woman who wants to slay Rudolph! She'll kill Christmas!!












Anyway, I'm a firm believer in the fact that Americans look for entertainment value and put their money wherever they've got the best chance to be entertained (and sometimes that means direct entertainment from the clowns in office, other times just getting more money in their pockets due to policies favorable to their particular profile), so if the Obama camp looks lackluster, they'll be in trouble. Still, though, for the average Joe, I've gotta think it comes down to McCain or Obama taking you by the hand, and whose hand would you want grabbing yours for the next four years. I guess John Kerry's hand woulda been like a limp, dead fish in your hand, and so people went for Bush's "firmness" (albeit false and inflated, protected). This time I can't get the perspective so far as to whose hand appears steadier between the two candidates.

It's already beyond disastrous, with this bumbling maniac and his squadron of death at the helm these past 8 years, but to have another Republican slither on into his office chair, and keep it warm with his warring G.O.P. ass for another 4 or 8 years, really seems unfathomable to me. Why wouldn't the American people be ready for a change? What the hell could they possibly be in favor of amidst all the ruin that's been brought on the country, even forgetting about what's been done abroad, as Americans are so good at doing. Surely people can't generally feel confident in the soundness of this administration's economic impact, can they? To me it seems like gas prices alone should warrant impeachment in the average Joe's mind, and if that's not enough, then that other little issue of the economy being crippled once again (hmmm...smells like the last recession, which just happened to brew out of war-mongering, plundering Reaganomics). The stake's been driven into my albeit hardened, cynical political heart, but having a Republican replace the current despot would bring a mallet thundering down on top of its head, and if that be its fate, I don't see how the stake could be removed. We'd have to elect Gandhi or the Dalai Lama (he's free, isn't he?) to mend the cavernous wounds.

Anyway, fingers crossed across the globe for a drop of justice to land in this bucket of piss that is the White House.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

i'm fixin' 2 do a hitchin' party, mmmm-hmm!!

yip, i gone an dunnit, i sez, shucks! i dun askt this purdy li'l thang ta marry this ol' trav'lr an' she up 'n' sed YAYUSS!! so i gots ta git me some ropa nueva and all gussied up fur the big day in the sun.

Friday, December 14, 2007

heeeey, maaaan...you want some juice?




[THIS POST

IS A WORK

IN PROGRESS...]


Just saw this article about baseball's troubles on Yahoo! while I was going to check on my spam collection (maybe you can fill me in a bit on what’s happened since Bones broke the HR record, as I have not kept up at all). The news here makes me wonder what the hell is gonna happen with this whole situation.

One thing's for sure: it’s bigger than baseball. It’s bigger than any one sport. Take the Tour de France, one of the world’s elite events: the juice flows through those cyclists’ tortured bloodstreams like garbage down the Tijuana River. Track and field, the sport that crowns a man with the title of world’s fastest human, until another man comes along to unseat him (same thing on the women’s side), is completely juiced: its top stars, world-record-breaking phenoms such as Carl Lewis, Michael Johnson and Flojo, are all among the “guilty” ones. The NFL was juicing up since the early ‘70s, if not earlier.

<----TIMES HAVE SURE CHANGED!!

The leagues have ALL known about this and, in my opinion, even promoted it (or, at the very least, turned a blind eye), such as with the now-infamous home run race between Sosa and McGwire. The leagues are not entirely unlike governments: they brashly refuse to acknowledge things that are not in their best interests financially, even if those things are harmful—or devastating—to the very core of their community.

To me, what the pro sports leagues have been doing for the past few decades is just as absurd as, say, what a national government does when lying through their teeth about why they are involved in a certain war (citing pathetic excuses like threatening “axes of evil” or simply skirting the issue altogether), because that’s exactly what they’re doing (naming names, singling people out when they know full well that it’s a generalized practice, not a freak occurrence among 15 glory-seeking fanatics: it’s not just the record breakers taking the stuff! And where do they suppose all these players get it? Hmmm…team trainers, perhaps?).

I don’t profess to have any simple solutions, as it’s a much bigger issue than “performance-enhancing drugs,” but I will say that it's a bit sad to see how many people (sports fans) are offered this dishonest product--called "major league baseball" in this case--and still choose to buy it, literally and figuratively. There will always be plenty of imperfection any time a sport or industry gets big enough, but in most cases, products at least deliver what the customer expects. Here, it's all been inflated and burst like a fart in the bathtub: the excitement/vibration is gone, and the fans still remaining are left with nothing but the stinky air. : (

Friday, March 23, 2007

vinagrilla en boca

,
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,
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,
.
- - mallorcan "vinagrilla" - -
,
.
,
.
..."tastes like sour green apples"
,

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

will the real john zorn please come forward!!


i'm pretty pissed off at john zorn!
that's him there with his axe...

no, i don't know him personally, but if he's at all interested in what people think about his work--and let's face it, he should since he's obviously out there to make a buck, like everyone else (if not, he wouldn't be charging 30+ euros per show in europe)--and if he gives anything more than a rat's ass about his fans--i definitely consider myself a fan since the first time i heard him--then he should consider this:

the shit he's doing with mike patton and joey baron, this so-called "moonchild" project, is a total scam.

he's touring around with his name in big letters on the poster as both the leader and one fourth of the group's members, for "concerts" that cost more than thirty euros to get into (at least in barcelona, where i unfortunately experienced moonchild). that price range was perfectly acceptable back in 2000 when i saw masada (i.e, john zorn and joey baron, along with dave douglas and greg cohen) in sevilla, spain (an UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE SHOW that i was raving about, sometimes to deaf ears, before that very show was released as a CD and touted far and wide as one of the masada's best shows EVER) but the problem is that with this latest gig, he (or his promoter, if there is one) is taking advantage of his fame to sell expensive tickets for something completely irrelevant and artistically worth far, far less than what the name john zorn has meant for the past three decades.

i honestly don't mind if he does the same exact thing...but charges 5 euros/dollars/yen/pieces of gum/etc. to "experience" it, cause that would be fair for what the project truly is: something new that has yet to gain an audience or earn a following significant enough to warrant the prices he's charging (which it won't, because this is very challenging listening and there just aren't enough people into that kinda stuff--at least not on the level he wants it to be considered; yes, there'll be some interest, naturally and rightly so, as the other members also bring their reputations to the mix and not the least of which, mike patton has quite a few groupies thanks to his many former projects...but they're not going exactly going to sweep the pop charts, or any other chart, for that matter).

but when he charges premium prices he's abusing his good name. people see "john zorn" on a poster or in online concert listings, and say "oh, hell yeah! zorn's coming to town." ...only to be completely shocked and annoyed to see that the group is actually three people on stage, none of which is john zorn, and that the lead singer (mike patton, whose range of talents is not to be disputed) is not actually singing but instead shrieking nonstop incoherent sounds like a banshee on 21st-century cybercrack (or as they call it, "preverbal language"--RIGHT!!!)...

this here is mike patton screeching away:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

...and that john zorn is actually standing in the middle of the room, inside the barricaded mixing-board area, wearing his standard baggy camouflage pants, "playing" the soundboard instead of a saxophone. that's just great.

JOHN: listen, I RESPECT THE HELL OUT OF YOU,
BUT THIS SHIT AIN'T RIGHT
&
I WANT MY THIRTY EUROS BACK
plus THE THIRTY I PAID FOR MY GIRLFRIEND,
WHO YOU GAVE A PHAT PHUCKING HEADACHE TO!!


(there's no way i would have taken her to see you, or even gone myself, if i had known what this group does at its gigs.)

as it is right now...moonchild is fucking bullshit. (if you were to charge five bucks for it, then i'd have to call it something else, like "crazy experimental hardcore music"...but for now it's just a bait-and-switch scam.)


i understand 100% that you are an incredibly eclectic and fearless artist. that's been the case since before you even made your first record. so i don't expect any record or concert to sound like the previous one. in fact, from "spillane" to the epic "parachute years" box set to the groundbreaking ornette coleman "spy vs. spy" tribute record to "news for lulu" trio to the "masada" quartet and the very different "masada string trio" and on and on...you are about as prolific an artist as could be
[to all others reading this: check out every one of those records i just mentioned...amazing, enjoyable stuff...incredibly divergent!!]
, and there's obviously no reason for you to stop trying new stuff. i understand if you want to do the shit you're doing now with moonchild--GREAT! go for it! i'm not opposed to it...but sell it for what it is, man! YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET ON STAGE UNTIL THE ENCORE, AND THAT WAS ONLY TO DANCE AROUND AND "DIRECT" WHILE THE OTHERS PLAYED.


why don't you advertise it as "FROM THE SOUNDBOARD, JOHN ZORN DIRECTS EXPERIMENTAL HARDCORE TRIO MOONCHILD"??
you know? why don't you list your role on the poster, and be forthright about the fact that you aren't playing your saxophone at any time during the show?

for as incredibly divergent as your projects have always been, you've been a saxophone man, and that's how people know you. to sell tix with your name as the headliner for a show in which you aren't going to play sax or even get on the god damn stage, i think you owe it to your fans (and potential new fans) to just
BE HONEST!!


sorry about all the swearing here, but you need to understand how upsetting it is when this kind of thing happens. it's only possible to get this upset when someone is really, really into an artist and feels deceived. MUSIC is and has always been a HUGE part of my life and i take it damn seriously.

if i had accidentally seen your show (convinced by someone else to shell out the 30 euros, of course) and didn't know who you were, i wouldn't have a right to be quite as pissed off. but since i've been into your art for such a long time, it gets me. you dig?

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, JOHN??

(send me an email!
click here
)




Thursday, March 1, 2007

shall we continuar?

continuemos, pues!

THIS AIN'T GONNA BE A TYPICAL LIST OF HOUSEHOLD NAMES!

there was WAYNE SHORTER a few years back...
...droppin this clean, tight tone on top of miles davis' band in the mid 60s and morphing himself into a second player on soprano.

he can be sharp and thundering without being overbearing like other bigtime tenormen have generally done -- and i mean "overbearing" in a positive way: the music i have been most struck by has largely been resounding and intense, i.e. john coltrane's later work like the village vanguard 4-disc set from '61 or further out...like anything JC did after that or like anything roscoe mitchell has done since. (don't skip over roscoe, by the way! more on that later.)

great news is that we can still see wayne shorter blowin in jazz festivals and his own tours. i plan on it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

MOSE ALLISON.
"young man's blues," taken up a notch or three by the who in the late '60s, was a tune that connected mose allison with people of all ages. he's got an affable persona and clever vocabulary, saying things like "Gimcracks and Gewgaws" the witty, likeable and incredibly talented mister allison.

i got a chance by pure luck to see him in london in august 2000. i was finishing up a year's stint as a student in barcelona and i was headed home across the atlantic within days, but i wanted to squeeze every drop out and see some more of europe before bouncing. so i moseyed up through it all and finished up spending 5 days by myself wandering london with little cash left. enough for one new, unknown pint every night and a few eats here and there. but when i saw that mose allison was playing at the pizza express (nice name.) i couldn't pass it up. he was great. it's a small venue and he was into it, didn't mail it in, not in the slightest. he's funny. makes you chuckle through the poignancy of his catchy yet quality tunes. some i like include "your molecular structure" and "I Love the Life I Live, I Live the Life I Love" and "the seventh son" and "Don't Get Around Much Anymore". take your pick: the man's got like 30 records plus all the compilations. one i'm interested in picking up is from the same summer london gig i was at, though on different nights: "The Mose Chronicles: Live in London, Vol. 1"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

BILL EVANS.
amazing.

pick up entire box sets of his recordings. grab everything you can find and stockpile it, wise young squirrel!

if you're too busy to take it all in now, don't worry...you'll get around to it someday and you won't believe how consistently captivating he was with any group he had playing around him.

tremendous.

bill evans left us in 1980 and was recording right up to his very last days of life. i'm so thankful he did that. his "last waltz" set is one of the very last gifts he gave the world: 8 discs including five 15-minute plus tunes.

i have the complete riverside recordings set, which is unbelievable. it's 12 discs and i listen to it constantly:
i'm enthralled.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

HENRY GRIMES.
i had the privilege to see mister grimes do his thing in barcelona with no less than one of my heroes, david murray, and one of my new favorite spirits in music, hamid drake. you could not find a hipper, warmer, more fiercely talented trio if you ransacked the blue note studios!

these three are top-flight veterans. what the audience may not have known was that mister g was "lost" for a few decades, then reappeared knockin' suckas out of the way FAST. the man's fingers slap and snap that big ol' bass every which way he pleases, goin from classic jazz to the hippest exploration you'll hear anywhere, paris, new york or otherwise.

see him soon and thank me afterward. and say hello to his wife: she rocks too, and she's along with him for the exciting gigs.

back in the '60s he was tradin lines with giants like archie shepp, albert ayler, pharoah sanders, don cherry, billy higgins, gerry mulligan, benny goodman, sonny rollins and my absolute favo, mister thelonious sphere monk himself. need i say more?

just in case you said "yes," check what sonny rollins recently said about mr. g:
"Henry has always been a serious, intense, and fearless musician whose personal life reflected those exceptional qualities. I admire him greatly."

and he went to high school with lee morgan and ted curson (see: mingus).

but somewhere along the way, gigs got scarce or something, and next thing you know our man henry sells his bass and disappears altogether from any and all music scenes, only to be considered gone for good...until being discovered by a social worker in the late '80s. now that's a nice piece of social work, man!

check out the downbeat article from that time, the july 2005 issue, i believe...and go hear him play!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

EVA CASSIDY.
get your hands and ears on "live at the blues alley."

that disc will probably make you happy every single time you listen to it. she tears it up, from swingin blues to dagger-in-year-heart ballads. a fine, fine, fine listen and and a huge whole that was left after she passed away in 1996 at the age of 33.

if you can find this record, and it shouldn't be tough to track down, listen to her sing "fields of gold" and tell me that sting didn't break down and cry when he first heard it. it's one of those special cases where someone adores a tune so much that they absorb it entirely and breathe it back out into a newer, more beautiful and exposed form, transcending the original recording by eons.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

roscoe p. coltrane from the dukes of hazzard MUST have been the name of a mythical hybrid jazz genius formed by [roscoe] mitchell, charlie [p]arker and john [coltrane]. i just NOW realized that...can u dig it?

ROSCOE MITCHELL.
he is even more badass than this photo lets on.

i saw roscoe mitchell play in sevilla in march of 2000 & it was STAGGERING!

r.m. is unstoppable.

i saw him, with my own astonished eyes and ears (yes, my ears saw him, his life was so vividly pulsating before us that night), tear through a solo that lasted at least 20 minutes throughout the entirety of which roscoe had to do circular breathing just to keep up with the torrential flow of creative ideas. the band? well, no less than the "sound ensemble": featuring two bass players, two pianists and a host of others (the group's CD "nine to get ready" also features the man, the myth and the legend, "genius" george lewis, who is now in new york after a wonderfully rewarding period in san diego in which he turned just about everything he touched into gold), all of whom are worth checking out in their own right.

that night roscoe was on fire from start to finish. i recorded the show on a handheld sony tape recorder. the quality leaves plenty to be desired, especially since the band played so vibrantly, which kinda overpowered my simple little recording device. nonetheless, i've got a monumental keepsake from that event...as i do from the abdullah ibrahim and john zorn concerts that went back to back with roscoe's gig and also knocked my friends and me out of our chairs in teatro central. more on those two later...

oh, another side note... this is what rm said about his 2004 release "solo 3," a three-disc set that just barely warded off his ever-flourishing creative spirit:
"I thought that at this point in my career, one solo CD is not enough. I'd better put out three CDs, because time is going on by."

...and if that's not enough: tell me right now who else you know could come up with a record title as dope as "Snurdy McGurdy and Her Dancin' Shoes" (1980; Nessa Records)???


...which of course leads me to the next logical move, which is taking a step back to spell out the acronym that sounds like an anthropology club or scientific research center. it is in fact the chicago version of a "paella" pan in which a phat grip of insanely creative soundsmiths slowly simmered onward from the early '60s and which turned into a bottomless source of sonic nutrition for the hungry listeners of the 20th and 21st century

(need i remind you how thirsty and starving ears there are out there? if so, maybe the words "smooth jazz" or "shania twain" or "las ketchup" will convince you that there is an epic drought going on and the media try to drag us through as they lull us to sleep! kiss my prairie oysters, disgusting corporate swine! sorry bout that, but you gotta see that it's no good having the whole free world of aural art boiled down and reduced like the foam concoctions at ferran adrià's #1-in-the-entire-world restaurant..."el bulli" -- located in roses, a town just down the way from salvador dalí's old stomping grounds, cadaqués, a gem of a town located just over yonder on the costa brava...but that is neither here nor there!)...

aacm.
(bio and photo to come...)
"ancient to the future"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

JASON ROBINSON.
this is a really, really, really talented and genuine man. i got to know him in '98+99 at ucsd in anthony davis' music history classes, where jazz and blues were the languages spoken twice a week during that magical year.

i have a few of his discs and i can strongly recommend any of them, though i lean toward "from the sun" because in addition to the strong play from the multi-reed man and compositions by jr himself, i love the piano from san diego resident favorite mike wofford...whose story should be told more often.



[more]
[to]
[come]
[on]
[jason]

he was there marinating and basting in the warm flavors of muhal richard abrams and some of music's other gifted visionaries. i got to sit in on a talk by mra and it was fascinating. the man is full of warmth and nothing short of genius--ask anyone who knows (about) him!

mr. abrams talked about music and expressing oneself in such a real and direct way that anyone with an open mind could follow happily along with.

in my opinion, those were monumental talks and concerts in san diego, whose scene is really owed to the arrival of this group, including george lewis, anthony davis, quincy troupe (what up, quincy!) - the poet laureate, bonnie wright (this woman is a jewel) and all the cats they brought into town for gigs and stays:

aacm
* douglas ewart - is there anything he can't play?
* muhal - the founder
* leroy jenkins - check his insane bowing of john coltrane's "giant steps" (rest in peace, mr. jenkins, you were a bad-ass and you are already missed)

& others
* steve lacy (r.i.p., steve - you were one of a kind)
* g.e. stinson - captivating sonic exploration, far beyond noodling
* lisle ellis - played with cecil taylor, paul bley...serious talent


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

MORE ON ITS WAY...(and don't worry, it won't include any mentions of the band known in spain as "lo' rolin")...

-

thar shie blohz

where was i...? oh, well, i thiiiink i was fixin t'git t'explainin bout how some tunesters have rustled things up and around about so's i'm seein things adjusted in a fine way.

some such masters be personal favos like nina simone, for e'zample. learnd bout nina in 93 when i took in a fonda bridg flick and got flo'rd by her sound, completely flo-red. [chek out dem tunez - last half of the "point of no return" soundtrack, they'r special among the phat cat'log of this great "arteest"] intense, full bravato overall sound and the lungs and spirit of this woman were unmatched. one of a kind. nina was brilliant and mine as much as yours. her anger got some release from singing and playing and composing these tour de force pieces. she was dauntless, nonstop.

i saw ms. simone in los angls ca back about the end of the 90s. it was exciting to be in the presence of a giant, as i've often had the privilege to do in various settings, and she gave us a concert worth remembering, though i think she may have had signs of fatigue because she did a few oddities like standing up midtune and demanding applause, even ovation, from the audience. it's all good. she didn't make a huge spectacle of it, just kinda hammed it up for a few minutes once or twice. but the fine memory is there of the show on the whole and taking another real life experience of master musicians into my life's story.

now nina is with the others, blowin in the wind, filling the air with their sound, like in my room right here, right now. listen on!

Friday, February 16, 2007

monk's not dead.

THELONIOUS MONK was:

* a man i never met

* born in 1917 in rocky mount, north carolina

* a fan of stride piano pioneer j. p. johnson

* a buncha other things i'll write here when i get a minute



in the meantime, check out this...

* * * * * rewarding listening list, monk + beyon
d * * * * *

monk album: "thelonious monk & john coltrane"

sonny rollins tune: "sonnymoon for two"

sonny rollins album
: saxophone colossus

ellington album
: "... and His Mother Called Him Bill"

horace silver album
: "blowin' the blues away"
(the hipster of cape verdean origin)

john coltrane set
: "complete 1961 village vanguard recordings" (4 discs)

jimmy giuffre 3 album
: "1961" (2 discs)

james carter tune
: "don's idea"
(off "in carterian fashion")

masada album
: "Masada: Live in Sevilla 2000"
(i was at that show: un-be-liev-a-ble)

abdullah ibrahim album
: "water from an ancient well" (see him if at all possible)

anthony davis album
: "Episteme"
(beautiful, complex and infinitely rewarding)


steve lacy album
: "Solo: Live at Unity Temple"
(check out the monk medley)


jazz history in a box
: "smithsonian collection of classic jazz, vols. 1-5"

ornette coleman
: "change of the century"
(or practically any of his records)


steve coleman album
: "genesis & the opening of the way" (2 cd)

cassandra wilson tune
: "love is blindness"
(u2 cover on "New Moon Daughter")

ravi coltrane
: "mad 6" or "moving pictures"
(see this fellow if you can)


bebo valdés+el cigala cd
: "lágrimas negras"
(jazz legend pianist, flamenco singer...tremendous record)

cesária évora
: ANY RECORD YOU CAN FIND...this woman is one of a kind

super furry animals
: "phantom power"
(see this band, they rock live too)


this list is just a starter and like life or any list of favorites, it's not just about jazz or any one thing, you know? loving any art form or natural form is not about being exclusive, saying "this shit, not that shit" or "i only listen to so and so" because that's not what got you where you are. that attitude wouldn't have let you get to where you
are and know the things you know (or appreciate those finer things you so enjoy) because it says "nope, just this!"

i don't believe anyone who tells me they like jazz but then can't sit through a saxophone solo (WHAT?!?) or people who say they like rock and roll but don't care about the blues (hello??) or that "all jazz sounds the same" and that they listen to the radio, the antithesis of quality listening, unless you have some rare local jewel of a station but even then you'd have to put up with quite a bit of crap while getting your fix of good music.




a recent lemona flurry


this is the view from my apartment, overlooking the quarry (which has been left alone for some years now and now has lovely pine trees and other vegetation lining its chiseled façade), located right next to estadio arlonagusia, the home of the mighty second division-group B soccer team sociedad deportiva lemona (DO check out the website, where you can sing along to the rousing team anthem!!).

the stadium bears the name of the street it's on, which is also my street, incidentally: the famed Avenida Arlonagusia. i have no photo of the stadium right now (or of the practice field next to it) but that can be taken care of if i get enough requests!

anyhow, here's the view from the pad late last month when snow started to fall. it was lovely and a nice surprise. never did see that happen in my hometown growing up.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

jes gitn stawdid


well, gotta git som'n up here, so here goze...

this is improvisation at its near finest. it combines ecology (putting a hat that had been relegated to camping trips only back into action, a.k.a. reuse: one of the 3 Rs) and technology (the new siemens cordless phone, which came with a clip but unfortunately not a headset nor any info as to what headsets may be compatible. so, i was forced to come up with this here combo. and by golly it worked out ok. why would i bother? well, you see, when i have to talk with a client about the many question marks regarding the obtuse text they sent me, i kinda need to be able to maneuver around with the keyboard and mouse and type a word or two, so there you have it: my new eco-invention!