i'm pretty pissed off at john zorn!
that's him there with his axe...
no, i don't know him personally, but if he's at all interested in what people think about his work--and let's face it, he should since he's obviously out there to make a buck, like everyone else (if not, he wouldn't be charging 30+ euros per show in europe)--and if he gives anything more than a rat's ass about his fans--i definitely consider myself a fan since the first time i heard him--then he should consider this:the shit he's doing with mike patton and joey baron, this so-called "moonchild" project, is a total scam.
he's touring around with his name in big letters on the poster as both the leader and one fourth of the group's members, for "concerts" that cost more than thirty euros to get into (at least in barcelona, where i unfortunately experienced moonchild). that price range was perfectly acceptable back in 2000 when i saw masada (i.e, john zorn and joey baron, along with dave douglas and greg cohen) in sevilla, spain (an UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE SHOW that i was raving about, sometimes to deaf ears, before that very show was released as a CD and touted far and wide as one of the masada's best shows EVER) but the problem is that with this latest gig, he (or his promoter, if there is one) is taking advantage of his fame to sell expensive tickets for something completely irrelevant and artistically worth far, far less than what the name john zorn has meant for the past three decades.
i honestly don't mind if he does the same exact thing...but charges 5 euros/dollars/yen/pieces of gum/etc. to "experience" it, cause that would be fair for what the project truly is: something new that has yet to gain an audience or earn a following significant enough to warrant the prices he's charging (which it won't, because this is very challenging listening and there just aren't enough people into that kinda stuff--at least not on the level he wants it to be considered; yes, there'll be some interest, naturally and rightly so, as the other members also bring their reputations to the mix and not the least of which, mike patton has quite a few groupies thanks to his many former projects...but they're not going exactly going to sweep the pop charts, or any other chart, for that matter).
but when he charges premium prices he's abusing his good name. people see "john zorn" on a poster or in online concert listings, and say "oh, hell yeah! zorn's coming to town." ...only to be completely shocked and annoyed to see that the group is actually three people on stage, none of which is john zorn, and that the lead singer (mike patton, whose range of talents is not to be disputed) is not actually singing but instead shrieking nonstop incoherent sounds like a banshee on 21st-century cybercrack (or as they call it, "preverbal language"--RIGHT!!!)...
this here is mike patton screeching away:
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...and that john zorn is actually standing in the middle of the room, inside the barricaded mixing-board area, wearing his standard baggy camouflage pants, "playing" the soundboard instead of a saxophone. that's just great.
JOHN: listen, I RESPECT THE HELL OUT OF YOU,
BUT THIS SHIT AIN'T RIGHT &
I WANT MY THIRTY EUROS BACK
plus THE THIRTY I PAID FOR MY GIRLFRIEND,
WHO YOU GAVE A PHAT PHUCKING HEADACHE TO!!
(there's no way i would have taken her to see you, or even gone myself, if i had known what this group does at its gigs.)
as it is right now...moonchild is fucking bullshit. (if you were to charge five bucks for it, then i'd have to call it something else, like "crazy experimental hardcore music"...but for now it's just a bait-and-switch scam.)
i understand 100% that you are an incredibly eclectic and fearless artist. that's been the case since before you even made your first record. so i don't expect any record or concert to sound like the previous one. in fact, from "spillane" to the epic "parachute years" box set to the groundbreaking ornette coleman "spy vs. spy" tribute record to "news for lulu" trio to the "masada" quartet and the very different "masada string trio" and on and on...you are about as prolific an artist as could be
[to all others reading this: check out every one of those records i just mentioned...amazing, enjoyable stuff...incredibly divergent!!], and there's obviously no reason for you to stop trying new stuff. i understand if you want to do the shit you're doing now with moonchild--GREAT! go for it! i'm not opposed to it...but sell it for what it is, man! YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET ON STAGE UNTIL THE ENCORE, AND THAT WAS ONLY TO DANCE AROUND AND "DIRECT" WHILE THE OTHERS PLAYED.
why don't you advertise it as "FROM THE SOUNDBOARD, JOHN ZORN DIRECTS EXPERIMENTAL HARDCORE TRIO MOONCHILD"??
you know? why don't you list your role on the poster, and be forthright about the fact that you aren't playing your saxophone at any time during the show?
for as incredibly divergent as your projects have always been, you've been a saxophone man, and that's how people know you. to sell tix with your name as the headliner for a show in which you aren't going to play sax or even get on the god damn stage, i think you owe it to your fans (and potential new fans) to just
BE HONEST!!
sorry about all the swearing here, but you need to understand how upsetting it is when this kind of thing happens. it's only possible to get this upset when someone is really, really into an artist and feels deceived. MUSIC is and has always been a HUGE part of my life and i take it damn seriously.
if i had accidentally seen your show (convinced by someone else to shell out the 30 euros, of course) and didn't know who you were, i wouldn't have a right to be quite as pissed off. but since i've been into your art for such a long time, it gets me. you dig?
SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, JOHN??
(send me an email! click here)
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